At the risk of sounding like a Coelho-wannabe, I went to take a walk down the River Thames today, and wept. Not tears of discontent, far from it. Because truly, I feel blessed to be where I am. I feel God could not have chosen a more beautiful canvass to teach me the many things I never would have known had I chosen to stay in my comfort zone.
My tears were that of loneliness. I miss my family so much that I yearn for them, but I don't feel ready to go back. Although I understand that all this time away from them is teaching me so many valuable lessons. It is not time to be with my family but being away from them has taught me about embracing solitude and seeing the bigger picture. Solitude has become something of a reality for me, and although it does hit its lows, I don't run from it anymore. I used to be deathly afraid of loneliness and I ran away from it, foolishly... into the arms of repression and denial. Now I sort of just sit down and deal with it. It comes and it goes and more and more I am adapting to it.
Nothing is easy here but life is teaching me a lot more than loneliness. I'm learning a tough lesson on survival, resilience and humility...but i'm doing well and will keep at it.
