Hey mars!
It felt so good to receive your handwritten letter. And the DVDs. And the dressed-to-kill outfits(hehe.). Didn't expect the Magic Sing so that made me jump up with glee. You know how happy karaoke makes me! I can't wait to karaoke! I will sing and think of everyone! I also know you're not the type of person to write letters so I really appreciate your doing so. I got a warm and fuzzy feeling after reading it. Thank you for everything. I really feel your love and support. Even Cin said as much. That I am lucky to have someone like you as my family.
I am well here, as well as can be.
Happy? Hmm...I don't know, I think I've reevaluated a lot of my beliefs since touching down last year. Being happy means having someone to share your blessings with and that is not the case now, is it? Maybe "at peace" is the appropriate term. I really miss you guys, I think I realized the value of home and family here. But in the same breath, I guess I feel that London is kind of home too- because although I've lived there my whole life, it was here that I got to know what 'grown up' feels like. Initially, the taste of it was very tempting and scary, but it made me think of the things I avoided facing back home. I gave myself some time to grieve over past regrets and failures so now I sort of handle my independence responsibly. It's not an easy thing, not in London, but it's a scary reality that I've had to face in the last couple of months. I've gotten used to cleaning the house, and enjoying loneliness. I drink very responsibly (only at home & around people I trust). I don't drink myself to deathly and dangerous degrees anymore- so relax. Most of the days, I just look at the bright side of things and survive.
When I first got here, I was always moping and Kay (my very cool, very spiritual & very Japanese flatemate) offered me so much support, friendship and kindness. Sometimes I'd come home browbeaten from work and the commute and she welcomes me with good conversation and laughter. And she cooks so damn well. Like Ueshima Coffee Company (UCC) food. I so miss a cup of joe from there. Super! She makes a mean Japanese pancake and her salads are to-die-for. One time we had Tako-yaki and sake. I wish you could have met her. She's back in Japan now. All that food talk aside, she was someone I could turn to and talk with and hang out with. We've gone around London and we even went to Greenwich together. Kay is one of the nicest people I've met here. I've been really lucky. I have a friend named Nicole too. I will tell you about her in time.
In a sense, I have forgotten what it's like to be there, doing what I normally do. Sometimes I think of life and how easy-going I was and thinking back, I don't think I can relate to that person anymore. I seem to have forgotten her already. But for the life of me, I will never forget Saturday family lunches at Polo. I haven't forgetten what Cima salads taste like & how Vodka feels when taken on a humid gimmick night. I miss how the sun feels when I walk to Fort Boni High Street and I definitely remember how a weekly massage ala Analyn feels... and how much I loved it. .
But I am definitely going home. Just a question of when! So wait for me.
I want you to know I am well. And that I am in God's periphery. So write me... again?
Une beso grande
x
S
