Backward Bender- BEWARE!!!

I've never been a backward bender. It goes beyond the dictates of my idealistic and fiery Leonine psyche!!!

I don't know why but I know that although the road to 'happy ending' may seem long and winding-- I can ascertain that my happy ending is written in the stars, almost like the inevitable BIG BANG. I don't rush. I bide my time.

In this age, it seems hopeless romantics are a dying breed. No one accepts the ideologies of old-fashioned romance. Everyone rants on and on and on about the practicalities of life and love. (Ugh!) For me, It simply doesn't add up. Practicality VS Love...two lifelines that will always be parallel in my book.

When a person has sat in the solo corner for as long as I have, it's easy to get used to the wonders of independent single-blessedness. And when one has been hurt that way I have, 'be careful' is the buzzword. It's easier to believe that the right person is never gonna come along anymore. Perchance this is a reality-- but a quick snap of a finger changes everything. FATE is never predictable (I reiterate that fate's a SHE!!!) Just like that. I decided tonight to start being less afraid and to take more chances, and channel into the beautiful hopefulness that is the future while being a tad mindful about mistakes done in the past. Despite daunting possibilities, LOVE happens. (IT does happen.) Someone comes along and asks to share your corner with you...pray-tell, what's a leo to do? Something someone told me tonight has renewed my beliefs in the thrills of forgotten romance.

Stalwart that I am, I have decided to give it a go and BELIEVE. I know it's the only plausible way to heal, to take the chance and be out there.

Thinking back now, I have come to terms with my past and all in all, I don't regret any of it. I had to have the pain, because I knew I couldn't see myself growing old with my ex. He wasn't 'the one.'

Ry told me today that my fun mien makes people see what they want to see. A woman-child who wants to have fun. And this fun facade is really not a fault. It's a strength. Because my openness and easiness in my skin defines me. He says I shouldn't change. Would be a shame if I did. Because a girl who knows what she wants is never a bad thing. RyanQuote- To get what you want is 1 in a million and you're not increasing your chances by not exploring your choices. A girl has to go through a few bad relationships or experiences for her to appreciate the awesome ONE that comes along!

Macy Grey calls ours the Sexual Revolution. Our millennium's been defined as the age of fair game. I am very much against casual relationships. The very tempted albeit unwilling player. I am so afraid that i might meet the one while I'm in this casual relationship and it'll be complicated that I'll end up missing my chance with him. That thought of it all is just not a risk I'm willing to take. I want to be free when I meet him. And the idea of compromising my shot by being with someone for the sake of companionship goes beyond my beliefs where romance is concerned. Loneliness is not an easy path to tread. But I always believe in taking it a step at a time. Just one date. To see if that one date would progress into another one. All that I look for is a chance to have a conversation with someone for the first time. To see his heart. Not too much to ask. It's not a sell out. Neither is it a sell short ((AKA selling one's self short!) Because I've always known what I want. I know being with someone less than ideal is a TRAVESTY in itself. I'd still rather be lonely than sorry. My luck in love was knowing at a young age the fulfillment of being in deep relationships so I can all but ascertain that second-best just won't cut it...why bother with less than best when you know that nagging feeling that you've settled won't do you any good?

Despite being in a series of one-date wonders and being called a cold-hearted gargoyle recently, I am a firm believer in old-fashioned romance. I can't turn a blind eye and lower my standards because anything less than ideal will not bring me the happiness that I seek. I won't be happy with secondbest. I know that love, the real kind...takes a while. Things have to fall into the proper X-marks and there will be no warning bells sounding off. I just know what I want and at the end of it all, I know it makes me better because I'm not settling. But having said that, I also believe in doing myself a favour. Because lightning does strike, doesn't it? The idea of finding the one is forged in my mind. Someone who will see me for what i am deep down, who understands why I've chosen to be single for as long as i have, why I stuck it out alone. Singlehood isn't without its challenges, but it isn't without its perks either.

The quest for the ONE is ON!!!