Carlo called me today.
He was the first bloke I dated this year. Italian, mid30s, well-traveled. Works in finance. We had drinks at a pub along Gloucester Rd. back in the day when I was residingin Fulham and doing downtime recept at Fitness First in the tres chic South Kensington area. A very cosmopolitan area where the V&A Museum sits. Sooh...his name was Carlo. Born in Verona, Italy where the ill-fated lovers Romeo and Juliet story was set! Nice to look at, and not-as-lovely to hold, he was a bit standoffish and had a fiery erratic temper. A bit loud as well, I remember how on our 1st 2 dates he would just make me want to crawl under the ground. Just because. But worst of it was that sometimes in the middle of the conversation, he'd just cut me off. And I'd tell him off. He'd laugh and tell me I had guts. (That I do!!!) And sometimes he would be rude to shopboys (but never to shopgirls hahahah!). But I think his rudeness wasn't intentional. I always thought it had more to do with cultural uniqueness and we all get misinterpreted.
I did like seeing him ( the *KILIG* factor was there...very very slight, but present nonetheless) because we had good conversations. He liked Steinbeck and I loved British authors and he always made fun of my romantic notions (yes I am famous for it!!!) And though, he was a bit moody and erratic, he was damn funny as well. In the end, there was no point seeing him because he was leaving London. Plus he did say tell me a story about an affair with a married woman that put me OFF so I decided never to see him again. He couldn't have been the one if he was into casual sex. And the excuse that 'she came to my house to see me...' didn't really cut it.
So today he called me. And after not having heard from him for almost half a year- he left the first quarter of this year to start up a business in Yemen and he told me yesterday he has since been and is now working in Dubai as a financial who da F*** cares. He said to me before flying that we'd be friends and keep in touch. But keeping in touch is going out of your way to keep the communication going. Even if it means being inconvenienced. And HE didn't make the effort. (Isn't the effort what makes all the difference in keeping friendships after all?)
So today...out of the blue, he calls. Said he wanted to catch up and have dinner and drinks in W Hampstead as he was going to be in town for the next four days. (Catch up-in mo mukha mo!!!) I let him ramble on while I was updating some fact sheets and said I'd get back to him. (ULOL!!!)
When we put down the phone, at my colleague Yvette's suggested, I entered him as DON'T ANSWER! went about my work. Work was ok today and at around half 2, I sent the standard SMS, "Thanks for the invite tonight. Can't make dinner plans. Don't eat dinner anyway. Have a nice weekend." So there. Short, simple and polite.
And at around half 8, DON'T ANSWER! called. But his name said it all. So I didn't and don't intend to. Not this weekend! Not ever!
I would have made the effort if he did, but seeing that he didn't, I don't see why I had to now. I don't have time for wolf in sheep's clothing. I've seen enough of them with my boss' ex-partners so no wolves zeroing on my private life as well. I keep a very small life and I always welcome new friends in. But people have to be genuine to make the cut and surprisingly, a lot of them, despite being of legal age, are quite simply, not.
