The Prayer of the Listening Heart: A Reflection

One of my friends attended a retreat back home recently. I read her blog with keen interest because she is quite well-rounded and her views on life, simply put are quite infectious. Blog after blog, I wonder about her activities, traipsing from one adventure to the next. This is what she is busy with now. Pensivity at its finest.

See what she has to say http://melissaftong.blogspot.com/2008/09/prayer-of-listening-heart.html

REFLECTION: As I've been left to my own designs since Autumn07, I've been carrying the same boatload of thoughts. More now than ever before- and the last couple of weeks have been an ongoing process. Not a case of dilly-dallying.

I've been garnering questions that lead me step-by-step to my life's purpose. I have in my mind's eye the eternal question mark. Still and all, I see how far i've come and how much more I've to go. Someone asked me recently why I wouldn't consider going back home? He says I've obviously already learned what I needed to learn.

It is in these subtle moments that I see God's designs in my life. So in answer I posed a question- when do you get to that point when you realize learning stops? Does learning ever really stop? Or does it ever stunt you?

If I do head home (and I do think of it constantly), what waits for me? More questions to my already endless array of questions. (Annoying I know.)

Truly, he didn't have a response that satieted my penchant for inquisition. (Come to think of it, he consented silently).

So speechless that the subject was changed. But I do have an answer.
Learning never stops. It is as ongoing as our breath. But having said that, I do know that I stand to learn regardless of where I go. To a point, he is right. I feel I have learned all that I didn't when I was in Manila. Life had been so easy. It was all an illusion. But when the blinders came off, I realized I couldn't go back and be the old me anymore. I was the personification of the Allegory of the Cave.

All these thoughts don't sound very Sadrina, do they? But in the grand scheme of things, I believe we all fit. Timing is always of the essence. The never-ending pieces of the puzzle all come together in varying degrees at various times in our lives.

Always the eternal optimist, I believe individuals must move forward with a few simple truths passed down by their parents. This basic truths will hold them together... until social interplay complicates it further at some point in the teenage years. That youth may have to be wasted on the young, for the youth to grow into maturity...a necessary semi-evil?!

And when the age of reason comes in due course, you become a mishmash of all things sensible. In the end personal truths come through and we simply choose to bin it in the dark recesses of your mind into the alley of experience. (And what a wide alley it can be!!!)

Aside from learning so much, realization did happen at some point. I am more relaxed if things are different from the way I see them.

I know firsthand the sacrifices of keeping mum.

I see the beauty of an open-mind, although I find comfort in tradition (within reason).

I'm loving the consistency of good judgement.

Yes, still stubborn. Yes, still stalwart. And yes, still painstakingly passionate.

But I've since overhauled and simplified. There's NO "my way or the highway" mentality anymore. This has since beenr replaced with the politically correct term- Compromise.).

In the quiet of loneliness, solitude became apparent and appreciated. I didn't learn anything the easy way- but I did get a lot of help along the way. From London to Vegas to Paris to Japan to Pinas to Shanghai to BC-- there are a slew of individuals to thank for the NOW. So, I'm not in the meantime anymore. I've passed with flying colours. I'm officially OUT!!!

The quiet used to be an uncomfortable quest for me. I always thought it was for the singular purpose of sleep (really)! My nature is very dynamic, refuses to stay p-u-t. Sitting still for a long time bores me. But I've since then learned to reflect, thanks to Kay-chan (the one from Japan!). Each night was a different thought but the goal was simply to reflect.. Every night before I sleep, I do pray and am one with silence. Moreso that I share comfortable silence with myself. Because I've found it to be true, that if you still yourself long enough, you will realize that God uses that stillness to lull you into understanding His plans for you.


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