忍耐 （Resilience)

这几天来工作情况不是挺好的。 跟我联系的人都对我很不公平。 真受不了！ 在加上我房东一天比一天讲话没到理，快气死我了。 跟妈吗讲他对我的态度有点儿过份 。所以周末跟爸妈讲住宿的问题, 我说心有点难过和生气。
My mom and I have a great relationship. As with my confidantes, I don't sugarcoat and attempt to make myself look good so I uttered expletives in her hearing presence. We got cut at some point and I said I would call again in half an hour. I think Karma heard my resounding anger reverberate in the high heavens and decided that I shall speak no more.

Moments later, I was surprised to hear my dad's voice on the other line with subtle urgency telling me that I should not speak in that very uncouth manner. (My mom maintains I simply should speak English as I speak like a proper lady haha!). The mother-alarm sounded when my dad went on to say that I was a very nice person when I left Pinas and that just because they're not beside me in Londra it didn't mean it was acceptable to start sounding like the evil-kinevil alter-ego they never met. I could hear my mom in the background saying, ''You talk to her. She's so stubborn if I talk to her it will fall to deaf ears. You reason with her. She listens to you." While I hold no ill will with my mom's method of enlightening me, I was pleasantly surprised that I agreed with her. She was right. I don't remember how often she's told me that I was one of the nicest individuals she's met, but having said that my stubborness doesn't bend quite as easily. My problem wasn't being nice. It was bending to the whims of others. Once again, mothers do know best.

In all guilt-ridden silence, I listened to my daddy. He's openly agnostic (but secretly Buddhist, I'd like to believe haha!) but often speaks with such wisdom that I simply am humbled in his (again) hearing presence. He told me that maybe I should just see my shortcomings since I came from Pinas and didn't actually have housetraining instilled in me. I told him that I had been in the 新房屋有六周 and I distinctly remember 我已经丢了三次的垃圾所以，对我来说房东的道理根本讲得很没有道理。My daddy told me to bring it up nicely and ask for specific details- 甚么时候是我丢垃圾的责任， 在甚么地方可放东西。 These pieces of information, once asked, will sort out a lot of things and make it easier for everyone。 Daddy said I must be fed up by the constant rambling of the little things that I should be mindful because it is the little things that add up to become the big things that people often fight about. Once again he was accurate. He reminded me that it wasn't simply a matter of putting up/shutting up. It was putting up and shutting up WITHIN REASON. Communication solves everything provided that you are speaking with reasonable people. He told me that he saw how much I had grown up away from them in the last year or so, but that I should speak my mind when I have something to contribute. Then after he shoved the phone back to my mom and in the background I heard him say victoriously, "You're wrong. She listened and I think she got it." (Hahaha talk about me whilst I'm within earshot, WHY DON'T YOU???)

Which leads me to my thoughts in the here and now. Being with B and Go. made me a silent operator. It did. Much less now since I am more open about my feelings. I was happy that I had a chance to speak to Kay-chan today for more than a hour. She sounds well and seems to have adjusted to Japan. Happily I told her how I was. And how much I missed sharing a flat with her. I miss this Japanese lady as she has become a friend through and through. She told me about her H.O. frustrations and how life is in Japan. I finally told her about B and she told me that what happened with B wasn't my fault. B was just not open-minded enough to see me. And I had to tell myself that in the end there was nothing I could do to have prevented what had happened to us. She's right of course. I tell myself everyday and although it's easier, I think my men issues are getting sorted in bits and bobs in jolly ol Londra. (Jolly good!)

Happy to report that I found a pair of size 8 LONG linen pants from Dorothy Perkins for 7 quid!!! Not bad for someone who had no intention of doing any shopping today.

I plan to lie down all week this week because the last fortnight at work simply requires me to avoid moving till Monday comes around AGAIN. Laziness is sometimes a necessary evil, hahaha!


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